Foxhole Buddies

Last week as part of Senior Week at UNC Roy Williams delivered the last lecture to the seniors. If you want to see a video clip from it, check out my blog post “So Senior Week Happened.” There’s one part of his talk that really stuck out to me, and I wanted to make a post specifically to talk about foxhole buddies.

Roy talked about the importance of finding your people, those who you know will be there for you no matter what, your foxhole buddies. He talked about how when he moved to coach at Kansas as well as when he returned to coach at UNC, some of his friends turned their backs on him and some didn’t even if it was a decision that meant he would be leaving them. Those who stayed with him are what he referred to as his foxhole buddies.

He described three levels of friends. The first is those who you would consider friends, but who you know don’t make you a priority and are more friends by proximity or convenience. The next level is for friends who are good friends, but generally only are supportive of you if you’re doing something they agree with or want to do. Then there’s foxhole buddies. These friends will support you no matter what, and are they type of friends who you will have for a lifetime. He emphasized the importance of finding your foxhole buddies and holding on to them.

This echoed messages I had heard from Gary Kayye, my professor for Branding of Me. Throughout the entire school year he has talked with us about how now is the perfect time to cut the toxic people out of our lives and to only make time for those who are adding to our lives. While he didn’t use the term foxhole buddies himself, the message was the same: find the friends who genuinely care about you and hold on to them.

While I know that every friend I make can’t be a foxhole buddy, I’m at an interesting point in my life where I suddenly won’t be in quite as close proximity with some of the people I currently consider my close friends. After graduation we will have to put much more effort into maintaining our relationship, and that’s when I think the foxhole buddies will truly reveal themselves. Those who still put in the time to make sure we talk and stay in touch, and the friends who I know still want to check in on me are the people who will become my foxhole buddies. 

During a time that’s leading up to so much change, it’s important to have a support system you know you can rely on. I’m thankful to have family and friends who I trust, and who I know care about me. Hopefully this has given you a chance to reflect on your own foxhole buddies as well, maybe take some time today to reach out to them and let them know how much you appreciate them. Letting someone know you care can prove that you’re a foxhole buddy for them too. 

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